It's our last night on vacation. Tomorrow we have a 14 hour drive back to the boring old Midwest. Then, on Monday, spring break is over and its back to my mundane existence which consists of swimming, swimming, school, shopping with my best friend Kristen, and swimming. And there was much rejoicing throughout the kingdom! If only... Lots of people start to miss their friends, and their routine, and their house by the time they've been away for a week, but I mustve been dropped on my homesick bone as a child, because I don't get it. The only thing I miss from home is Kristen, and I could probably go another week before I would go into depravation mode.
I don't get homesick. I don't miss my friends. Don't get me wrong, I love them, I can't wait to see them again, but I don't LONG FOR THEIR PRESENCE, or anything like that. I'm just not that type of gal I guess.
On a seperate note, I wrote the songfic I said I would write yesterday, and boy did it get the creative juices flowing! Unfortunately, I've been reading fanfiction for over an hour now, trying to get a unique idea for a piece, that would probably write itself at this point. I still got nothing. OF. FREAKING. COURSE. So yeah, I'm a little frustrated about that.
It wasn't all in vain though, I did read some really awesome fics, so kudos to you xfiles fandom! I also ventured into the relm of a fandom OTHER THAN XFILES... WHAT?!?! That's right, I, the xfiles extreme purist indulged in NCIS fanfiction! *gasp* it's nice to know that other fandom are just as dedicated as us! Although, possibly slightly less, considering xfiles has been off the air for... A while now, but whatever.
Something you should know about me: I want to believe in Xfiles 3. Just let me cultivate my ignorant dream, all right? That dream, and then one in which I meet Gillian Anderson. But for real, I had a dream about that once!
Next topic listed in the title, irrational fears, that might possibly be rational. What do I mean by this? Allow me first to apologize for the length of this post, and next to explain.
I will be heading back to practice, bright and early Monday morning. That means, back to my coaches, Thomas and Phil. I'm looking forward to seeing then again, after two weeks of their absense, but honestly, lately they make me kind of nervous.
Allow me to further elaborate. At the last meet of last season I ended on a not-so-good note. Actually, it was more of an I'm-an-emotional-wreck note and it was fairly embarressing. I just couldn't seem to hold back my emotions on the last day of that meet, and I DONT KNOW WHY. It was humiliating, and I'm left sitting here wondering how much I was able to lower their opinions of me.
Part of me says that they still think highly of me, and that they understand the emotional stress I was under for a month at that point, and that they still have plenty of respect for me. The other part is trying to jam some common sense into that part. As you can see, there lies the dilemma, and there lies the reason I am so nervous to seem them again.
Luckily, the new season is starting up, so I get somewhat of a clean slate. Somewhat.
Well, I could go on for ages more, but I think that's enough. I've got a touch of my famous mild insomnia, but I'm gonna try to get some rest.
-Haley
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