More thoughts [an update]

It's summer now.  Thank God.

I found TXF fandom on tumblr.  It's the best thing ever.

I also got a new iPod that can hold all my Gillian Anderson pictures.  So far there's over 300 of them.

There's this guy I like.  I dunno if things will work out, but so far we've been texting a lot and he hasn't shied away from my outright insanity.

So that's good.

READ MY FANFICTION.  Okay, or don't.  Just, whatever.  I'm tired.

I guess that's all for now.

-Haley

There is no common theme [rambling]

Haven't posted in a while.  Thought today was a good day to.

I have a headache, probably because I only slept about 5 hours last night.  I'm trying to get my latest fic typed up on fanfiction.net, but it's proving to be quite time consuming.  It would be my, as of yet, untitled Psych-X files crossover.  I like it so far.

Saw the Lucky One last night.  Total waste of time and money.  It was so bad, I don't even want to talk about it.

I'm thinking about becoming a Unitarian Universalist.  If you are unaware, UU is basically a religion of people united not by a common theology, but a common set of values.  It's absolutely wonderful.

"Time passes in moments.  Moments which, rushing past, define the path of a life just as surely as they lead towards its end.  How rarely do we stop to examine that path, to see the reasons why all things happen, to consider whether the path we take in life is of our own making or simply one into which we drift, eyes closed.  But what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes?  Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life?  And, seeing those choices, choose another path?"
Just felt like typing that out.

Was googling around yesterday and found out that Gillian Anderson has two tattoos.  I felt like a bad fan for not knowing.  I mean, I knew she was 5'3'', C cup, and American shoe size 8 before I knew that she had two tattoos?  That embarrasses me.

Follow me on instagram.  I love that place.  @piratessayargh

I'm bored.

I should probably work on my fanfiction.  I want to get it published today.

Thanks for reading this ramble.

-Haley

I just died [I LOVE YOU FRANK SPOTNITZ]

http://biglight.com/blog/category/mailbag/

I just died a little inside. Of happiness of course, but... I ALMOST FAINTED WHEN I SAW MY EMAIL ON BIGLIGHT. THIS STUFF NEER HAPPENS TO ME!! Like, I literally started hyperventalating and fanning myself when I saw it... I had to lay down, because I thought I was going to faint. Honestly, Frank will probably never know how happy he made me with that simple small gesture.

I love you Frank:)

-Haley

Strangely in-shape... [swimming]

Hi all.  Today was a good day, because in total, I had four pieces of my sister's birthday cake.
 
I also had a really good practice, which was strange, considering that today is the second day back after break.  I just felt really good, like I was flying (literally and figuratively, because my fly felt better than it has in a very long time).  I can't wait to finally do some pace 100s, because those are my absolute favorite.  I LOVE THE 100 FREE.  I love doing it all out, 200 pace, 500 pace, 1000 pace, 1650 pace, WHATEVER!  I could just swim 100 frees til I die.
 
I haven't done one since our Division 1 meet, but I haven't done a straight up 100 free set in practice, since before our high school state meet, which was in February!!
 
Suffice to say, I'm dying.
 
So today, I was praying to the dear Lord that we would do SOMETHING short and fast.  Or long and fast.  Just fast would do it.  I mean, I'm a distance swimmer, but I definitely appreciate sprinting, and I'm decent at it.
 
Luck would have it, that we did nothing that was supposed to be fast.  In my true form, I went fast anyways, because that's what I do, and I was literally itching to go.
 
Things turned out pretty well.
 
Anyone see my one of my previous posts when I talked about my irrational fear?  Well, things seem to be going fairly well so far.  I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
 
And of course, no post would be complete without some sort of X-Files related babble, so I will leave you with this.
 
My email to Frank is growing longer exponentially.  I'm going to have to cut it down.  Majorly.
 
It's difficult though!  There's so much I want to share with him, about how TXF have changed my life!  Once I finally get all my ideas down, I have no idea how I will edit it all together, and somehow make it any less than novel length.
 
One last piece of wonderful news- I might've just created a new Nerdifghter! :)
 
And there was much rejoicing throughout the kingdom!
 
-Haley

Teeth, Kentucky, and All Things [random thoughts]

Hi.
My teeth really hurt today.  I went to the dentist and they did their usual bang up job of scraping out my gums.  Yeah, uh, OUCH.
 
I'm having bloggers block today, so sorry if this really sucks.  Also, no transitions today.
 
I started writing an open letter to Gillian Anderson today during study hall.  So far its 2 and a half pages.  If I ever finish it, and it turns out to not be outrageously long, I'll post it here.  If it is too long, I'll probably post a brief outline.
 
Speaking of open letters, my email to Frank is...  Well, it's coming along.  It still has a while to go...  Once I get all my ideas down I will have to edit them together to form a coherent email.  Which will be challenging.

I picked Kentucky as the NCAA champs, FYI.

Hopefully I will get some more sleep tonight. If not, I have something that will help, a blogger with a wordpress account. Her blog is called Musings of an X-Phile and it is everything I wish this blog could be. She has absolutely stunning insight on the touchstone speech; I've never thought of it that way before, and it was so lovely to read.

Also, I think I might possibly have the All Things VoiceOver memorized. (I watched it again today for like the 7th time... Not that I'm keeping track). This is from memory, the proof is in possibly small missing words. Unless I get incredibly lucky...

Time passes in moments, moments which, rushing past, define the path of a life just as surely as they lead towards it's end. How rarely do we pause to examine that path, to see the reasons why all things happen, to consider whether the path we take in life is of our own making, or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed. But what if we could pause, stop to take stop of these moments? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? And then, seeing those, choose another path?

Things got a little choppy there at the end... I'll have to check my work, I think I butchered the last two sentences...

I guess Gillian will just have to forgive me.

-Haley

How can I ever forgive myself?! [I completely lose it]

Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It's been _____ _____ since my last confession.

I have committed the ultimate sin.

I have betrayed all the ones who love me most.

Today, in an attempt at being more tolerant of those with different romantic view points, I read...

I READ A DSR FANFIC! I'm so sorry! I just wanted to see what in the world could possibly make someone think that Scully should be with Doggett rather than Mulder and curiosity got the best of me. The piece in question consisted of far too much Mulder-bashing for my tastes, and now I'm left with a horrid taste in my mouth.

I suppose that's what happens.

I'm not completely closed minded, I'm sure there are better fics out there, but after that traumatizing experience... I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for those. I think it's good to venture out of your comfort zone when it comes to your OTM (one true match) but I think I'll stick to MSR from now on.

I mean, really! The positive reviews will haunt me in my nightmares.

-Haley

Frank Spotnitz is in for a suprise [TXF related thoughts]

Why hai there.  I've been home since midnight, and I have been seriously procrastinating my homework.  There is a distinct possibility of me doing it tomorrow during physics.
 
Tomorrow my boring life begins the wonderful cycle of eating, swimming, shipping, and occasionally sleeping.  Last night I was up til 4 AM.  GREAT.
 
I want to go a little more in depth into said cycle, but honestly, the only thing on my mind is the email I am currently working on in hopes of sending it to Frank Spotnitz, one of the very talented writers who had the pleasure of working on The X-Files.  The email started out simple enough, just me wanting to thank the guy for being so freaking awesome, but right now...  It's basically me spilling out every single reason TXF matters to me, and how it changed me as a person.
 
I realize that sounds a little weird, and trust me, I feel weird saying it, especially because I'm so young.  To give you an idea, I cannot legally drink.  Yeah.
 
But it really has, and I'm not sure how well I'm getting that point across to Frank.  Even if he does get it, there's no telling if he will actually take me seriously or not, and that's what worries me.  Here I am, confessing the thoughts and ideas that I hold nearest and dearest to my heart, to someone who probably gets hundreds of emails a day from crazy people like me who don't actually mean it...  And runon sentence.  But anyway, I'm just basically worried that he won't take me seriously, or he'll get a restraining order.  Or both.
 
Such is the nature of myself though, I sit and worry about all the possibilities, and all that could go wrong.  I really want to do this though, because typing this all out on a blog is great and all, but no one will probably ever read it, and I pray to God that Frank reads all of his emails.  He doesn't even need to respond! (Although it would be nice to know that he read it.)
 
It's going to take a lot of courage to press that send button once it's finished.
 
Wish me luck!
 
-Haley

I want to sleep [BLAHHHH]

It's almost 3 in the morning. I'm tired. I want to sleep.

Also, I've discovered quite a few fun xfiles related things including Frank Spotnitz' blog, the caps files, and Mulder and Scully's suprisingly detailed wiki pages.

I also struck an inspiration gold mine that I'm not relvealing yet in case it falls through.

I will leave you on a happy note: I got a new review on what I consider my best fanfiction ever, and it was glowing:). The reviewer even subscribed to me! That's 5 reviews now, which, to me, is a respectable amount! Also now, I have to write good fics, so as not to dissapoint my two subscribers.

I'll get there eventually...

-Haley

Going home, fanfiction, and irrational fears that might just be rational [random thoughts]

It's our last night on vacation. Tomorrow we have a 14 hour drive back to the boring old Midwest. Then, on Monday, spring break is over and its back to my mundane existence which consists of swimming, swimming, school, shopping with my best friend Kristen, and swimming. And there was much rejoicing throughout the kingdom! If only... Lots of people start to miss their friends, and their routine, and their house by the time they've been away for a week, but I mustve been dropped on my homesick bone as a child, because I don't get it. The only thing I miss from home is Kristen, and I could probably go another week before I would go into depravation mode.

I don't get homesick. I don't miss my friends. Don't get me wrong, I love them, I can't wait to see them again, but I don't LONG FOR THEIR PRESENCE, or anything like that. I'm just not that type of gal I guess.

On a seperate note, I wrote the songfic I said I would write yesterday, and boy did it get the creative juices flowing! Unfortunately, I've been reading fanfiction for over an hour now, trying to get a unique idea for a piece, that would probably write itself at this point. I still got nothing. OF. FREAKING. COURSE. So yeah, I'm a little frustrated about that.

It wasn't all in vain though, I did read some really awesome fics, so kudos to you xfiles fandom! I also ventured into the relm of a fandom OTHER THAN XFILES... WHAT?!?! That's right, I, the xfiles extreme purist indulged in NCIS fanfiction! *gasp* it's nice to know that other fandom are just as dedicated as us! Although, possibly slightly less, considering xfiles has been off the air for... A while now, but whatever.

Something you should know about me: I want to believe in Xfiles 3. Just let me cultivate my ignorant dream, all right? That dream, and then one in which I meet Gillian Anderson. But for real, I had a dream about that once!

Next topic listed in the title, irrational fears, that might possibly be rational. What do I mean by this? Allow me first to apologize for the length of this post, and next to explain.

I will be heading back to practice, bright and early Monday morning. That means, back to my coaches, Thomas and Phil. I'm looking forward to seeing then again, after two weeks of their absense, but honestly, lately they make me kind of nervous.

Allow me to further elaborate. At the last meet of last season I ended on a not-so-good note. Actually, it was more of an I'm-an-emotional-wreck note and it was fairly embarressing. I just couldn't seem to hold back my emotions on the last day of that meet, and I DONT KNOW WHY. It was humiliating, and I'm left sitting here wondering how much I was able to lower their opinions of me.

Part of me says that they still think highly of me, and that they understand the emotional stress I was under for a month at that point, and that they still have plenty of respect for me. The other part is trying to jam some common sense into that part. As you can see, there lies the dilemma, and there lies the reason I am so nervous to seem them again.

Luckily, the new season is starting up, so I get somewhat of a clean slate. Somewhat.

Well, I could go on for ages more, but I think that's enough. I've got a touch of my famous mild insomnia, but I'm gonna try to get some rest.

-Haley

Songfics [adventures in xfiles fanfiction and shopping]

This writers block ends now. I mean, honestly, I just finished reading my fourth book this week, and I've barely written 5 pages?! I'm ending it as soon as I finish this blog post. I decided that I am going to force myself to sit down and write a songfic. It will probably turn out horribley, but the lyrics should help me along and provide guidance and inspiration. At least that's what I hope.

I've written quite a few songfics and I love writing them. Music is something that I really connect to and love, so it's fun to relate it to Mulder and Scully. That being said, I also believe it to be the lowest form of fanfiction, because the author relies very heavily on words that have already been written. They can still be quite lovely though! Not trying to bash them!


For those dying to know, a songfic is a form of fanfiction in which the author embeds lyrics from song into the fic. This can be done in varying degrees. The song can either carry the piece, or serve to enhance it. Mine usually carry them, hence, they don't usually get published.

Anyways, enough of that. Today my family and I went shopping at the outlet mall near our house. We spent a lot, so chances are that my mother won't be paying for my purchases for quite a while. It was especially fun because everything was on sale, so I got to purchase things that normally my parents would never dream of paying for.

We are talking a nice juicy couture necklace for 30 bucks. Uh, yeah.

I wasn't over eager to buy a bunch of things from expensive brands though. I was thinking of what other people would think if they saw me take my coach wallet out of my juicy shoulder bag. That kind of thing.

I know when I see someone with an extravagant amount of overpriced clothing I tend to make snap judgement about their character, and I know I'm not the only one guilty of it. Is it stereotyping, or just plain jealousy? Probably a little of both.

I love shopping, I don't know where that last part came from, I had just planned on talking about the stores we went to...

I should probably get going though... I need to choose a song. I've been listening to a lot of Mayday Parade, so I'll probably go with No Heroes Allowed.

I'll let you know if it goes well by posting it on fanfiction.net. See other posts for my penname. If you never see it on there, feel free to assume it sucked.

-Haley

Insomnia and sunburn [MILD insomnia, excuse me]

Hi friend. My chest is very itchy.

Allow me to explain.

Sunburn.

Yeah.

I still have writers block and I am very unhappy about it. Very. I just read a little MSR and it all felt a little cheesy and overdramatic to me. It's very easy to overwrite Mulder and Scully;I'm guilty of it as well. Overwriting doesn't make for a bad fic usually, I'm just in a weird mood. That's why I've been searching for the humor fics, but haven't found any tonight that stood out to me.

I just had an epiphany: any situation in life can be related to Spongebob and/or Xfiles. Just think about it.

Will anyone ever discover this blog? I refuse to pimp it, so probably not. I'm not sure how long it'll last, but assuming I never get tired of talking to no one, I suppose forever.

Not a comforting thought.

For real though, is mild insomnia a thing??

-Haley

Thinking and writers block [adventures in xfiles fanfiction]

Why hello there. I've been up for a couple hours now reading Xfiles fanfiction on fanfiction.net. I have been known to read smut once in a while, but I prefer the clean stuff. I usually only read MSR, but once in a while I travel off the beaten path into DRR territory. I also write fanfiction. I'm not far enough into the series to write DRR, I've only just met Doggett, but I might try someday.

During this vacation I kinda imagined myself really pumping out the fanfiction, but alas, writers block hit and it seems that it is here to stay. It's a shame too because the fic I was writing was coming along nicely. It was a version of the Notebook with Mulder and Scully and gender roles switched. I think I might quit it, just because it seems to be going no where. I will write a couple pages of story and then just mark it out because of how forced it sounds and how bad it is.

On the other hand, I'm going throught the rewriting/editing phase with a piece that I wrote a while ago. It's a little cheesy and over dramatic in my opinion, but I worked hard on it and I want it to be published. It's full of Mulder angst:). If you're interested in my work, find me on fanfiction.net, my penname is Gillianandersonwannabe. How fitting.

On a completely unrelated note, my friend and I did a project on the book called The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. It's on YouTube, so you should check it out. Her username is thetarrbabyx.

On a slightly more related note, Gillian Anderson has had lesbian affairs!! WHAT?! That's amazing, because now instead of being one in a million, my chances with her are one in 999,999.99! And there was much rejoicing throughout the kindom! I could go on forever about Gillian, but I think I'll stop now ans save that for a later post...

-Haley

I have a headache [random thoughts]

I've had a headache all day now, but I just took some ibuprofen, so hopefully it'll go away soon. I'm on spring break right now and my family rented a house on the beach, and it's been really nice so far, all things (including headaches and sunburns) considered. Don't worry though, I'm not sitting here blogging while I should be spending time with my family, they are all in bed. I can't sleep.

Sometimes I think I might be a mild insomniac if there is such a thing. So tired, and yet I can't sleep. Insomnia reminds me of two of my favorite people! Fox Mulder and Adam Young! Well, Mulder is a fictional character, but still.

Today I saw Hunger Games. It was good. Slightly hated the camera work though. Made my headache worse. Also, I had definite expectations for the musical score and they were not met. It was still pretty good though. After all, my musical bar is usually set pretty high, *ahem* Mark Snow.

I'm very tired. I think I'll try to sleep now. Good night.

-Haley

So, uh... Hi... [an introduction]

So, my name is Haley and this is my blog. I wanted a place where I could just let my thoughts out, so I decided this would be the place. I absolutely did not want to be limited by a theme, so that's why there's no theme. I will try to make my posts regular, but I won't lie, sometimes I'll post 4-5 times a day, and sometimes not for a month. If you don't like it, don't follow me.

Here are some things you will probably hear about on my blog: the X-Files, Gillian Anderson, music, nerdfighteria, and YouTube among other things... I will warn you in advance, I am VERY obsessive. VERY. It's a little scary, and this is the only place I'm going to apologize for it. So there you go. I'm not like a stalker, but, come on. Gillian Anderson. How could you not love her?!

So read on if you dare. If you like what you read, follow me. Can't get enough of me via blog? My instagram is piratessayargh and I write fanfiction (only x-files so far) on fanfiction.net. My username is Gillianandersonwannabe.

Not a fan? No need to flame, just move along.

-Haley